Wednesday, April 15, 2009

{ In loving memory }

This is "Nana" with my son Gaven about 2.5 years ago, right before she was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor. I miss her so much and I wanted to share with my blog friends how amazing she was on so many levels. This is almost therapy for me~a part of the grieving process. I hope that you will be inspired by what I am about to write... we only have so many turns around this earth until we reach our last hour. What do you want to remembered for?
My husband and I have lost several family members over the years to cancer and heart disease. My Father and Mother in law passed in 2001 and 2002. When we had our first child, Aunt Holly (aka Nana and Mom) asked if she could be the grandmother because she and he husband Denny were unable to have children years ago. Therefore this would give them a new beginning, a chance to have grandchildren. Of course we said YES! It was truly an answered prayer. When we went through our losses I often prayed that my children would not feel the void that I did.
Holly and Denny truly blessed our lives. They were the best grandparents that one could ever ask for. We had a relationship that we didn't take for granted, it was truly a gift from above. She was my mom, my best friend, a "voice" in my life that I looked to at so many times in my life. Her wisdom was priceless, she knew how to make sense of everything. She truly, deeply loved my children and spent quality, fruitful time with each one of them. It was such gift for such a short time.
After a 2.5 year battle of a brain tumor, hip replacement, shoulder replacement and breast cancer. The cancer came back and within three weeks this February she was gone. She loved Jesus with all of her heart and I know she is in Heaven and would not come back if she had the choice!! Her life touched so many.
Even in her darkest hour she would know how to encourage you and make you feel special. After talking on the phone with her you felt exhorted and blessed with kindness and love. She never had an ill word to speak of anyone and always found greatness in everyone. She was merciful of all and to be in her presence was like you were the only one who mattered. She was so giving, graceful and classy. She was so talented in many ways and would share her talent with all who admired. Never selfish even when she had every right to be. Her funeral consisted of approximately 700-800 people. All who had been graced with her presence...and would never be the same after knowing her.
So as I have been going through this trial - I had to ask myself once again. What do I want out of life? What do I want to be known of remembered for? Do I want to be remembered for making tags and cards OR do I want to use my talent for good. Pondering all of this thoroughly, I did decide to close down my website for now. I have a lot of soul searching to do. I am praying as to where my life should lead, what path shall I go down and in the mean time... I aspire to be more like Nana. Someone who I am so grateful to have known and loved. I want to touch peoples lives, there are so many hurting out there. Right in our own neighborhood, work and in our family or even our own home. Love goes a long way, a kind word, a compliment or phone call. If you see a need or know of a need that someone has and you have the capability to fill it, then do so! They will remember that forever and will do the same for another down the road.
What do you want to be remembered for? Your life is just a moment on this earth. Every morning when you wake be thankful that you are taking another breath and start each day wondering who's life I can change next?
Thank you for taking the time to listen to my heart.
The warmest of blessings,